A few minutes ago I was thinking, and something that Alan Chambers, president of exodus international said at the EG conference started resonating with me, he mentioned, "I never want another kid to feel as though he is dammned like I did" in reference to his experience with homosexual attraction.
I started to think about this, I never felt like I was going to go to hell just for my feelings. First I thought I wasn't trying hard enough. Then I just thought I could never live a life that was in accordance with Christ and His teachings. I didn't think I could make it, that I'd fall away like so many of my brothers friends, and his last boyfriend.
But two weeks before I started to reconcile my homosexual attractions I was at work and I started thinking to myself, "I'm going to go on a mission, try to be worthy...then come home, go to school, last as long as I could, But I will eventually leave the church to pursue a same sex relationship."
Thank God I was wrong, I discovered that it was okay that I dealt with this, it wasn't my fault, it didn't need repenting of, and I could make it!
Tonight I realized I don't want anyone to think they can't make it, like it's too hard, or not worth it. Because it IS worth it, and you can make it.
There are so many times, like when I was recently listening to Snow Patrol's song Chasing Cars, and then Set The Fire to the Third Bar, I started to long to share those songs with someone I loved. But then I opened up my notebook and found these words, also by Alan Chambers, "We are called to live a life of denial."
Remember, "Our trials simply reveal to us our true selves"