Thursday, September 21, 2006

A few minutes ago I was thinking, and something that Alan Chambers, president of exodus international said at the EG conference started resonating with me, he mentioned, "I never want another kid to feel as though he is dammned like I did" in reference to his experience with homosexual attraction.

I started to think about this, I never felt like I was going to go to hell just for my feelings. First I thought I wasn't trying hard enough. Then I just thought I could never live a life that was in accordance with Christ and His teachings. I didn't think I could make it, that I'd fall away like so many of my brothers friends, and his last boyfriend.

But two weeks before I started to reconcile my homosexual attractions I was at work and I started thinking to myself, "I'm going to go on a mission, try to be worthy...then come home, go to school, last as long as I could, But I will eventually leave the church to pursue a same sex relationship."

Thank God I was wrong, I discovered that it was okay that I dealt with this, it wasn't my fault, it didn't need repenting of, and I could make it!

Tonight I realized I don't want anyone to think they can't make it, like it's too hard, or not worth it. Because it IS worth it, and you can make it.

There are so many times, like when I was recently listening to Snow Patrol's song Chasing Cars, and then Set The Fire to the Third Bar, I started to long to share those songs with someone I loved. But then I opened up my notebook and found these words, also by Alan Chambers, "We are called to live a life of denial."

Remember, "Our trials simply reveal to us our true selves"

10 comments:

duckygub said...

wow! that last quote is great! very true! i love it.

johngalt said...

"Our trials simply reveal to us our true selves"

Absolutely right on.

Loyalist (with defects) said...

very wise

Samantha said...

ATP--Just in case you forget between now and the next time I talk to you--I love you.

Naked Native said...

Hey Buddy. I really like Mr. Chambers talk as well. I personally thought it was amazing that he came even though he probably has strong feelings that our Church is not true. That was really neat that he could put differences of belief aside and still talk to us. Not many people will do that, at least from my experience.

el veneno said...

I just bought both those Snow Patrol songs in your honor. "Chasing Cars" was well overdue but "Set the Fire to the Third Bar" is new to me and I'm loving them both.

painted grass said...

chasing cars is the song that i lay on my back and watch the ceiling fan too.

i know exactly what you mean.

iovan said...

"Our trials...." - wow... good one! who said that, do you know?

Dawn said...

I can never tell you enough what an inspiration you are to me. I'm sorry I've let you down but know that I'm always here if you need anything. Thanks for helping my boy too. He started reading the book the other day.

iovan said...

Thanks. One more reason to go read that book.