There’s so much I want to write, and there are a few reasons behind this, I haven’t really posted in quite some time, and secondly I’ve had a few experiences lately that have really just added to this emotional and spiritual vat of Fleh. (Don’t ask, just make the “fleh” noise and you’ll probably understand)
As I posted on one of my other blogs I’m going to start to rebuild myself, I have a lot to put back together, and there are some things I’m going to try to incorporate in this reconstruction. One of the things that I know will be essential will be what Samantha and I talked about, which would be to love myself no matter what; no matter what I do, my temptations, my situation with me serving a mission. Yet another factor that I need to bring in would be a stronger relationship with Christ, not built on knowledge but built on prayer and communication with Him. How can I expect to build myself on the Rock who is my Redeemer when I don’t go to Him in prayer?
Also, I was able to attend a fireside with other members of the Church who struggle with Same Sex Attraction. The person who spoke was a woman in her mid-twenties from Idaho. She was married to a man who struggled with SSA; they had a beautiful little girl. Five months after their daughter was born they were traveling home and a drunk driver hit them. Her husband and daughter died and she was in a coma for several weeks.
A few days after the accident she received a blessing by Elder Eyring and she was healed.
She showed us a statue of Christ carrying a girl that was by her bedside while she was in the hospital. I looked at it, and felt that I’ve been carried, and if I let Him now, He will carry me through what I’m facing.
We had Regional Conference on Sunday, I was mostly impressed by Elder Wirthlin’s talk about carrying on. Last month his wife passed away, and he was up there telling us to carry on, I was so impressed by his strength in that, I could tell he was hurting, that he was struggling—yet, as Pinetree pointed out, he was carrying on, exemplifying perfectly the topic he chose to speak on.
One thing that I was able to be comforted with was the fact that Christ has walked our path; He knows us and is willing to help us. He loves us, He does. He knows what we’re going through.
I need to stop writing since I have work soon and it’s going to be a long day.