I had a conversation with God last night. It’s been happening more lately, and I kind of like it. I’m glad I’m the only one in my apartment right now; otherwise my roommates would think I am crazy.
Last night we talked about me serving a mission, I’m kind of scared that I won’t be able to because of mental health reasons, along with the whole being morally clean thing. We talked about some ways of helping with that. He just said I have a long time to serve a mission.
I told Him that I was scared that the only people I’ve began to trust are leaving, or are planning on not being here for long. He understands, and He knows that it’s causing me some anxiety.
Towards the end of our conversation I told Him that I was sad and scared, and I didn’t want to think about dying anymore, and that I wanted to be happy. I then felt peace.
Today I felt okay. I didn’t think about dying, which is the first day in about two weeks that hasn’t happened, I got a hug from Skyblue Pink when she paid me a compliment, and work wasn’t too dreadful. I felt like I had some purpose, I felt like I had some peace.