When Royalty Visits

Does everyone remember the times when I've written about Brother Expletive Delete? The posts have been numerous, scathing, and downright mean.

Yet, after Sunday, I'm not sure what to think of him.

Let's back track, and set the scene. Ten AM rolls around, and surprisingly I'm out of bed and almost conscious. I heard the obnoxious beeping of my cellphone, look down, the caller ID displays "Samantha Stevens--Cell" I eagerly answered it, wondering what was going on, since I assumed she'd be with her gracious hostess/sister at church. Apparently, there was a terrible bout of gastro-pyrotechnics with her sister's family, and Samantha needed a place to go to church and was wondering if she could visit mine.

Thinking this was a once in a lifetime chance, I accepted. She walked in with her two youngest kids and sat next to me and my parents. Our spot was much more prime than usual. Directly in front of us was The Slow Talker v1.0 with wife, Behind us was Sergeant Gospel Doctrine Teacher, and to the left--Brother Expletive Delete, legs crossed, mismatched dress socks. During the youth speaker's talk his cell phone started beeping, he popped open his briefcase, opened his cell phone and started texting people--occasionally shuffling a paper around to make it seem he was actually doing something acceptable.

After church got out I was speaking with Samantha and her kids in the foyer, Brother Expletive walked up, smiled and nodded at Samantha, then winked.

As the Most Attractive Member of the Queerosphere and the power vested in me by the Queen of the Queer, I hereby rename Brother Expletive Delete as Brother "Honey."

I've also come to the conclusion that old men shouldn't flirt with my friends.