Things I like and Dislike

I like eating Costa Vida with friends
I dislike throwing Costa Vida up hours later (such a waste of $8)

I like skipping class
I dislike skipping class for the sake of emptying the contents of my stomach

I like having rock-hard abs
I dislike getting said abs from throwing up

oh, I have to officially take back most of the mean things I said about my roommate--he bought me medicine yesterday and kept checking in on me. The guy is amazing.

*sigh*

Small Rant

Okay, I was just looking around on Facebook and you know what I saw? One of my dear friends joined a Colin Firth group. This said group claimed Mr Firth to be incredibly attractive, and that he causes people to swoon!

I know I've never swooned at the sight of Colin, and I have to say he is not attractive at all. I might even say that I've made out with people of the female persuasion that I find much more attractive that Mr. Firth.

So take that you pompous brit made-for-tv celebrity. *sticks out tongue*



BLECH!

QOTD

I feel bad selecting just one quote for today, since I spent most of the day talking to Samantha (she's my favorite), then the mildly handicapped woman I work with she kept telling me, "You're just cookin' with Crisco AtP, cookin' with Crisco!"

Then I spent a lot of the night well, early morning, talking to AGirlWho, I think I may have a crush on her. Shhhh don't tell any of the fags in the Queerosphere--they'll kick me out because I'm not really gay.

but alas our QOTD comes from Stephalumpagus who reminded me of the first time we hung out at IHOP, it was back when they had the Caramel Banana French Toast thing for $4.99 (hmmm deliciousness). Well, she said, "Remember that time you winked at the waiter to get more caramel?"

It brought back a flood of memories of late night IHOP adventures with Smurf and a bunch of other people, and also displays the fact that I shamelessly use my (incredibly sexy) body to get things I want from nice gay waiters...like caramel for my french toast.

PS I think I'm buying this shirt...the mao thing...obviously



and i REALLY want to buy this one... excuse the language


and what I'm wearing to the Queerosphere reunion.

An attempt to explain life in general

The negative
I’m more alone than I ever have been this past week. The most human contact I’ve had has been with my roommate and the mildly handicapped people that I work with at Your Local Inspirational Bookstore: The Remix. It's pathetic.

My laptop has crashed three times today. It isn't supposed to do that. And that really pisses me off.

I'm a mess financially, I'm in debt up to my ears and I've had to ask my parents for money three times--something I haven't had to do since I was 15.

I'm angry all the time; at people around me, at myself. And for stupid things too, basically I'm angry at people for not being able to read my mind and realize how messed up I am. After work I made a quick stop off at a mall and went back to my dorm. I spent some time reading and tried to sleep but I couldn't because I was just so, so angry.

in addition to being angry all of the time, i'm really afraid. I hate how disabling it can be sometimes

I'm moving back to Provo the end of this semester just because I'm freaking miserable here. Yeah, I know i'm running away. Think Ani DiFranco, "I want my friends, I want my old face, I want my old mind--F--- this time and place"

The postive

I'm reading the re-released version of "All These Things Shall Give Thee Experience," that just came out a few days ago, and it's a really good book. I've learned a lot in there.

I'm getting a hair cut on Monday. I can't wait.

I'm slowly gaining more influence at work and the old women are finally starting to realize I have good ideas--so we're changing things around. i still have a list of things I want to have changed, on the top of that list I want to instigate alphabetizing our product. I know. shocking idea, isn't it?

I've been able to talk to a few people the past few days that have been amazing helps and they've helped me realize that God hasn't forgotten me, and that even though I feel like no one is there for me, I know I'm not.

i'm praying more than usual, turns out God is a great listener... and He loves me... hmmm Who knew?

I'm talking to Samantha on the phone and she just made me snort. It was awkward.

In other news...

Granola and Band-aids

hey kids

Sorry for the mess of shallow posts that seem to be overtaking my blog. There are things that I'm working through and all I can think of is writing scathing posts of Nelly Furtado fashion blunders and the fact that B.Spears shaved her head.

So until the time when I can properly sort through all this, "fleh" you'll be enjoying more posts about the shallow things in my life, such as:

Saturday night I saw an octogenarian wearing a sexually suggestive shirt that said, "How many licks does it take?". The old man sighting, which occured at the Downtown Wal-mart, was terrifying...mostly because he was wicked high and tweaking.

I don't know how many of you have been introduced to the fragrance Pink Sugar--but it's amazing. I bought some for my friend Sam back in our high school days and I almost jumped her it was that delicious. Anyway, they introduced the male equivalent, Blue Sugar. I don't know if I should get it or not; I'm leaning more towards purchasing it. Anyway, if any of you just happen to be at the University Mall in Orem, stop by the frangrance counter in Nordstroms, take a whiff, and let me know what you think.

I bought this shirt a few days ago. Although, I don't know how often I'll wear it since my arms are freakishly skinny and they rarely don't venture outside without a long sleeve shirt/jacket on.

Housing Complaints

AtP: "Hey Holly, you're in the housing department, right?"
Holly: "Yeah, what can I do for you?"
AtP: "Well, this is AtP in room 134--I already told you about the wallpaper in the bathroom that's peeling. Well there's this green stuff growing there now. Just wanted to let you know."
Holly: (Laughing)
AtP: "uhhh"
Holly: "That's disgusting! I'll put a work order in."

I hate that bathroom. I hate the mattresses, I hate the horrible lighting. The people who live around me are absolutely ridiculous. I can't wait for this semester to be finished.

It's over!

Okay kids, I know I’ve posted about Nelly Furtado already—you know that time where she inserted the dagger into my heart than walked away? Well, not literally…she just wore some pretty awful clothes to an awards show. Anyway, she twisted that dagger today and laughed--hard



Even though I still love your music, Nelly. We're finished--I'm breaking up with you.

Psych 101: The Meltdown

I know you are all just dying to hear more about the adventures of AtP in Psychology, and I hope I do not dissapoint with this weeks venture into annoyance.

We're discussing intelligence tonight, and most of the discussion wasn't as painful as usual. We were discussing environment, siblings--you know, the standard for a chapter concerning this topic, but out of the blue, the girl I blogged about recently spoke up.

"I have two cats!"

...

What the HELL does that mean?! "I have two cats!"

My words aren't working, I don't know what to say!

I'm going to tell myself that she was making some clever word play about having lesbian aunts or possibly having deformed lady parts.

Worst Friend Ever Award

Anyway, well I missed The New Kid's birthday.

here's a late happy birthday to The New Kid who is now 20!

PS I got a facebook finally, I feel like I can never catch up on the facebook-ness...

The Ascent

I have a copy of David Linn's The Ascent hanging in my dorm room to remind me constantly of the people that I have who are extending their own arms toward me, attempting to help me through life, also to remind myself of my responsibility to help those around me to become nearer to God.

SoulForce V.2.0

There are some things that really bother me, like stupid people, or those who perpetuate stereotypes, and on occasion I'd include my parents on that list as well. There are also organizations that really piss me off too, like NAMbLA (North American Man/boy Love Association) and on an equally pathetic and lame level, SoulForce.

I'm sure everyone who is gay, mormon and had an internet connection was aware of "The Equality Ride" that took place last spring. They came and attempted to open up dialogue with students and faculty. Then towards the end of their stay at BYU they held a funeral procession and then played dead in a field, each person representing someone that had committed suicide, was gay, and a member of the LDS Church. This particularly made me angry because they were horribly disrespectful to the families of those people who ended their own lives, they had no right to use their names in such a pathetic and corny way.

Anyway, even though BYU was kind and accomodating last year, Soulforce decided they were going to play the bleeding heart activists and spit in their faces. This year they won't even allow the Equality Riders on campus because they didn't play nicely last year.

So here are the reasons why I dislike Soulforce:

They come in and attempt to change...wait...what was it exactly? Where they attempting to change the LDS Church stance on homosexual activity? Or did they try to get them to change the CES Honor Code? Oh wait! I think I remember! Soulforce wanted the Church Education System to be ACCEPTING of their homosexual sex-capades!

Okay, now that we have little bit passed us, here's the thing Soulforce and also Soulforce's little gay mormon friends. There's this thing called the Honor Code. Don't know if you heard about it, but anyone attending any CES Program or school signs it. When you sign the Honor Code you say you aren't going to be doing a myriad of activities--drink, smoke, have (gasp!) hetero sex, and probably, the only thing you are focusing on, no homosexual activity.

So Let's recap! If you're attending a school owned by the LDS church you've signed a little paper saying you won't have (among other things) gay sex. If you do have (among other things) gay sex, you freaking DESERVE to get kicked out.

Okay, I'm getting bored with this topic--so I'm going to wrap this up quickly. Soulforce, you made things worse for BYU students who are SSA/Homo/Gay, you helped perpetuate the stereotypes that we've been working on getting rid of. And the worst crime against mormon gaydom you've commited: you have very ugly lesbians.

.:Superhero:.

sleepwalking through the all-nite drugstore
baptized in flourescent light
i found religion in the greeting card aisle
now i know Hallmark was right
and every pop song on the radio
is suddenly speaking to me
yeah, art may imitate life
but life imitates t.v.
'cuz you've been gone exactly two weeks
two weeks and three days
and let's just say that things look different now
different in so many ways

i used to be a superhero
no one could touch me
not even myself

A clean homosexual is a happy homosexual.

As many of you know, I moved out of the good ol’ home the first week in January into the heart of SLC ghettoness. I’ve had a lot of fun, and a hard time adjusting to attending school again. Another thing that I’ve had to adjust is living with someone.

My roommate is a great guy; he just got back off a mission to some crazy country in Asia or something. During the days I have the room to myself, and when he is here I only momentarily have to endure him chatting about girls.

As much as I like the kid (not in that way, sickos!) but I can’t stand his inability to keep things clean. In fact, he’s shedding. Every morning when I enter the shower I see a gamut of hair types. I’m sick of just having to rinse down the hair and clean out the sink in order to not throw up.

So, yesterday I couldn’t handle it anymore, I had to clean—I went to Wal-Mart and purchased some scouring pads, Clorox, window cleaner, and paper towels. I scrubbed the countertops, bathtub, and floor. Washed the mirrors, folded towels, and organized all our hygiene supplies—okay, they were all mine. My roommate only owns shampoo! While I have: my Dove Intensive Moisture Body Wash, pore cleansing mask/cleanser, black head reduction daily exfoliating scrub (just added to my routine, I’m in love) Clean and Clear Dual Action Moisturizer—an oil-free facial moisturizer), Aquage Transforming Hair Paste, and of course—my signature cologne—Swiss Army. Okay enough about me. Suffice it to say, I have enough ‘supplies’ for a gay army.

And now, after an hour or so of delightful cleaning and organizing, I feel as if I can breath in my room—almost. I’m thinking of finding a desk lap or something, since the lighting is pretty awful.

Okay, another college story I wanted to share. I usually take the stairs because the elevator situation is ridiculous. But today was different, my computer applications teacher, Sister Former Hippie, let me out early. I pressed the button for the elevator on the 7th floor, it immediately opened up, and it was empty! This has never, ever happened before—the average elevator at my school is packed with at least 10 people. It was a tender mercy of the Lord. I walked in, pressed the button with the star on it, indicating the lobby. I expected to have to stop at every floor, but it didn’t! It went straight down to the first floor! My elevator ride that usually averages 5 minutes took less than a minute!

I think God loves me