Thursday, February 01, 2007

A clean homosexual is a happy homosexual.

As many of you know, I moved out of the good ol’ home the first week in January into the heart of SLC ghettoness. I’ve had a lot of fun, and a hard time adjusting to attending school again. Another thing that I’ve had to adjust is living with someone.

My roommate is a great guy; he just got back off a mission to some crazy country in Asia or something. During the days I have the room to myself, and when he is here I only momentarily have to endure him chatting about girls.

As much as I like the kid (not in that way, sickos!) but I can’t stand his inability to keep things clean. In fact, he’s shedding. Every morning when I enter the shower I see a gamut of hair types. I’m sick of just having to rinse down the hair and clean out the sink in order to not throw up.

So, yesterday I couldn’t handle it anymore, I had to clean—I went to Wal-Mart and purchased some scouring pads, Clorox, window cleaner, and paper towels. I scrubbed the countertops, bathtub, and floor. Washed the mirrors, folded towels, and organized all our hygiene supplies—okay, they were all mine. My roommate only owns shampoo! While I have: my Dove Intensive Moisture Body Wash, pore cleansing mask/cleanser, black head reduction daily exfoliating scrub (just added to my routine, I’m in love) Clean and Clear Dual Action Moisturizer—an oil-free facial moisturizer), Aquage Transforming Hair Paste, and of course—my signature cologne—Swiss Army. Okay enough about me. Suffice it to say, I have enough ‘supplies’ for a gay army.

And now, after an hour or so of delightful cleaning and organizing, I feel as if I can breath in my room—almost. I’m thinking of finding a desk lap or something, since the lighting is pretty awful.

Okay, another college story I wanted to share. I usually take the stairs because the elevator situation is ridiculous. But today was different, my computer applications teacher, Sister Former Hippie, let me out early. I pressed the button for the elevator on the 7th floor, it immediately opened up, and it was empty! This has never, ever happened before—the average elevator at my school is packed with at least 10 people. It was a tender mercy of the Lord. I walked in, pressed the button with the star on it, indicating the lobby. I expected to have to stop at every floor, but it didn’t! It went straight down to the first floor! My elevator ride that usually averages 5 minutes took less than a minute!

I think God loves me


Samantha said...

I have no idea what your post says. The title alone, will make me happy for several months, if not years. I believe I may start a new blog with that title, simply because I love it so much. No idea what I'll post on it, but just having it will be worth it.

Stephalumpagus said...

Samantha's right--that is an amazing title. And I can honestly say that I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. I might have to marry a gay guy just so I don't go insane in the name of hygiene.

Anonymous said...

So what brands "black head reduction daily exfoliating scrub" and "pore cleansing mask/cleanser" do you use? I'm in the market for some new facial products, especially if you say they're so good.

agirlwho said...

My roommates routinely gross me out too. The thing about the random hair around the shower... *shudder* I know that all too well. Have you ever had a roommate that never changed their sheets? That is beyond gross. After the film we watched in science class in 7th grade, I never took the cleanliness of my sheets for granted again.

P.S. I don't know what kind of facial cleanser you use, but I LOVE Clinique cleanser. I think they even have skin care for men... not that there's a huge difference. I guess the smell of the product would be more masculine. ;)

Thrasius said...

hi. I have been following your blog for a while and I like it, especially your writing style. Thanks for all the thoughts you give, it is definitely interesting for me to see your perspective on everything. Keep it up!

Julie said...

Hair issues....that whole image just ruined my lunch. Deees-gust-ing! Thanks bunches, my friend.

Anonymous said...

I loved this post! It made me smile. I am curious what your roommate said or if he even noticed or commented?

As to the elevator... isn't it nice that small things like that can make our day. :)

John said...

OMG... you just gave me an opportunity to vent about my roommate! So first of all, he's almost 40 and he's still living in student housing. He has really dark hair and it shows up everywhere!!! He blows snot rockets in the shower. Saturday, I had to scrub them off the shower wall for cleaning checks. He has no dishes except for a coffee mug and two styrofoam cups with matching Wendy's plastic spoons. And every time he takes a shower, he floods the floor of the bathroom (I still don't know how he does it!!!). And his favorite thing to talk about is the girls in the ward and which ones I think are cute or which ones he thinks i should date! ACK!!! ..... okay... I'm done now. Thanks for enduring that :) Hang in there! I feel for you!

ps... so your blog was the first one i really got into in the mohosphere so I ended up reading the whole thing over the past couple weeks. thanks for sharing your life with everyone. It's been an emotional roller coaster of reading.