Thursday, May 03, 2007

..: :..

"Yeah I think that I might break
Lost myself again and I feel unsafe"

Right now I think I'm just on autopilot. I miss life in Salt Lake, yet I know there is a reason I felt like I had to move back. I'm just confused.

There is this increasing portion inside of me that is begging for a closer relationship with God, and of course the other side of me that really just wants to believe fully in the absence of deity. Ha, if the old women who buy books from me only knew the dichotomy going inside of the person raving about how inspirational that particular title they're buying is. Can anyone say fraud?

I guess I can say I'm trying, right?

There's a lot to do this summer, and it's terrifying...

But here's this amazing quote that has been floating around the queerosphere as of late...


"Hang on, hope on, try on. ... Get through the night; get to the light. ... I believe in that light, and I believe in that hope, and I believe in that peace."

3 comments:

Danish Boy said...

Hey man,

Now worries. I am sure that with all the friends you have there is no possible way that you are "fraud". You are trying to be a kind person and I think you are doing a great job! Thanks for your message at the end!

Original Mohomie said...

I think I--and probably one or two others of our kind--can probably understand something of the whole dichotomy feeling. Not a fraud, just torn. Yes?

I mean, you discuss what's pertinent in a given situation. Nothing wrong with that. Unless you were absolutely pretending to have any interest in spiritual things.

But then, you probably realize this and are just expressing feelings, but y'know.

el veneno said...

Just to agree with the original mohomie, "torn" seems like a better description than "fraud" to describe you.
Fraud involves lying and I can't think of a time I've heard you lie.
I think all your friends would agree that it's your authenticity and adorable and sometimes offensive honesty that makes us like you.

I miss life in Salt Lake too. We need to have a Salt Lake reunion soon.