Is it possible? For the last year and a half I've been sitting on the fence feigning commitment to Him and keeping the option to date men open in case that whole "Jesus" thing doesn't work out. The pain of indecision is seeming to be more than the pain of actually letting go, so I must be getting close to be getting to that point
I've had some incredible spiritual experiences the last few weeks. Not because I've seen angels, or conversed with God face to face, but because I've felt that Christ is real, has a special interest in me and those that I love. I've felt that the Atonement can cover what I've done and He can heal the pain that I've felt.
So, what is the process of letting go of even the possibility of dating a man? How can I make a decision like that permanent?
More will come later...
About Me
- AttemptingthePath
- I’m a twenty-nothing who is trying desperately to figure out my seemingly complicated life that includes being a SSA/Homo/Gay/Whatever Mormon that has pathetically little control over my emotions. By day, I sell priestcrafts (“Have you heard of the new John Bytheway fireside on DVD?” It’s 20% off right now) to old women, who, in fact, think I’m quite endearing and buy four of said DVD. I’m going to pretend that the inverse of the previous statement isn’t necessary because I don’t think it’s any of your business what I do by night. I’ve been described as “adorable, yet offensive,” (OriginalMohomie, 2007) and “Immature.” (Master FOB, numerous occasions) I am still in love with Natalie Portman, hooded-sweatshirts, and quoting movies. And just like my last “about me”, this one is going to peter out at the end. Just … like … now.
9 comments:
Letting go of my desires has not been an event, but a process. The Saviours love is more important to me than any earthly, temporal love I might desire sometimes.
Some might let go of Christ, but He will never let go of us. Letting go for me is a sacrifice that is not easy. Every day I pray for strength to endure this trial and to find peace in my heart. I know He loves me and sees my struggle and I also know if I should ever fall, I can be forgiven.
Jacob, well said.
If you could only see how strong you really are. I love you.
Hang in there, my friend. You're amazing.
I agree with all that was said here AtP. You are an wonderful guy. Dont ever think differently. and you do deserve being loved by Christ.
Here's the thing. No matter what else in life is complex and complicated and painful and difficult (to put it mildly), "that Jesus thing" is real and true and clear.
Keep holding on to that.
I'm glad to hear you're having some great experiences. Just keep holding on. The answers always come if you hold on long enough.
people saw me in So Utah on Monday? I don't remember that...unless they saw me and I never saw them. I wasn't in So Utah two days ago monday if thats what you mean.
Have a good day though. Hopefully I will be seeing you guys soon.
Funny how that pain thing works. Perhaps the fence has pickets...you should really check on that.
I love you, AtP.
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