Having a bad day.
I really don't like angst.
My parents asked what was wrong, there are a lot of things going well.. but let's focus on the negative just because I'm in a pissy mood, and this is my blog.
I'm the new project in Elders Quorum, my bishop everytime he shakes my hand has that, "I'm so sorry" look in his eyes but he doesn't know how to help, in gospel doctrine they kept repeating the phrase "every young man needs to serve a mission." I felt more than one set of eyes land on myself. That felt absolutely wonderful. Oh, I also like guys--incase anyone didn't catch that.
When will attending church stop hurting? When can I go and have a positive experience?
I want to run away again, but I'm too scared to do it. I really need to take some time off of everything and go away for a while. like literally leave this place and put myself back together.
Also, recently the only thing that has kept me from "acting out" has been fear, not the love of the Gospel and Christ as it should be. I need to realign my focus.
but I'm lazy, so I'll probably just take a nap, wake up and spend way too much time watching movies or reading a pointless, badly written book.