Monday, August 14, 2006

I hate that look, you know... the look that you give young men who are 19 or 20 who aren't on missions. The awkward face where you start to ask a question, but then you suddenly realize that it wouldn't be appropriate in this situation. Or, you feel like being a jerk and actually continue ASKING the question.

*le sigh* I guess finding a new ward isn't going to solve anything. Oh, they also found out how old I was at Deseret Book, first they're slightly annoyed that I have the position I do at my age...then I got that awkward, "mission" facial expression from everyone. The only one who hasn't done it has been the store manager, that guy is amazing.

I wish I could feel safe in telling them what really is happening, the fact that I was flagged because I was honest on my mission papers, and then the 1st presidency decided that it would be best for me to have a set time for me to wait.

I'm bitter right now, I KNOW there's a reason why I'm still here, I just need to not let everyone else cloud the picture between me and my Father. I can't let their suspicions, gossip, and derision run my life.


Samantha said...

You're here right now because you make me smile--and I need that--didn't you KNOW???? It's all about me and the Big Guy...

"My strength is as the strength of ten, Because my heart is pure." You were right to be absolutely honest. The Lord noticed--He's proud of you. Put on the whole armor of God--it can help protect that pure heart.

"All-arm'd I ride, whate'er betide,
Until I find the holy Grail."

Hang in there. You're awesome. When those looks come your way, remember, you have nothing for which to apologize.

painted grass said...

i just... love you.

Loyalist (with defects) said...

In the mormon world you get that look whenever you don't "seem" to be performing to that abratary "standard"
Mission at 19 (men anyway)
marriage at 21-22
kids 9months after marriage.

It's really none of their damn business anyway. just like the clutter under the bed. :-)

My wife and I had a great saying when shortly after our marriage we started getting the "when's the kids" coming look or comment. She would tell them not to ask me because i was in an acident and lost my testicles. that shut to old nosies right up. I loved it.

pure funny as far as i was concerned.

Loyalist (with defects) said...

damn, I really hate it when i dont spelz chk.

Nemesis said...

I have a friend who didn't go on a mission because of health limitations, and he was SO grateful when he finally turned 21 and could stop getting the "Wait, you're 20? But----" looks. I couldn't believe how insensitive some people were about it.

You'd think that with the Raising the Bar, people would start to realize that are lot of good reasons why people aren't shoved out the door the second they hit 19. And none of them are our business anyway.

It sounds like you're trying to do the responsible thing. Good on you!