Thursday, November 16, 2006

vague and random--it's best to stay away

There's something I've been trying to blog about for weeks, except it's still off in the ether and I haven't been able to grasp it.

choice?
regret?
God?
change?
Friendship?


A few weeks ago, I was tired. Now i'm exhausted. My solution only perpetuated my spiritual, emotional, and physical fatigue. This is reminiscent of last year at this time...


"When we are tired, we are attacked by ideas we conquered long ago." -- Friedrich Nietzsche (Thanks for that one Samantha--i can't stand reading Nietzsche long enough to find little gems like that)

I find myself at a point where I've found myself before, when I was barely 16 I found myself in the same mess of needing to leave a situation, but always finding myself longing to be in it again. I can see the cycle, where i'm at in it, and I think I know why it's happening. Now, since I can see myself I need to act appropriately. Yet, when I've left before, I always had everything lined up...it's always been calculated, can I walk the line long enough to make a smooth transition, or does this need to be more jarring than usual?

I do think an award is in order though, along with being the youngest regular posting member in the queerosphere (and also the most attractive (HAHAHA)) I must say I deserve the "Most Vague" superlative...

I did a lot of laundry today, and vacuumed my room. Now it smells like Tide with Febreeze. I added a faith and teachings section on my bookshelves. I've been burning up the Camille CD today on my laptop...the French music has really been the perfect soundtrack for the day.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Of course it's been perfect...it's FRENCH. :)

Elizabeth-W said...

I think it's called the refiner's fire--we have to keep going into it to work out the imperfections time and time again. But each time, we're moving a little closer to where we want to be.

Stephalumpagus said...

Excuse me, but I'm younger and just as attractive than you. Although I'm not sure if I count as a member of the Queerosphere...? But seriously, I wish you the best of luck with this one. You know you can talk to me anytime. Love you tons my friend.

epadavito said...

'the most attractive' - made me totally laugh - nice little addition- thank you for that - I'm sure you're amazing inside and out!

Anonymous said...

Most vague? Perhaps. But even if you don't sing the words, some of us know the tune all too well. (BTW, I'm king of extended metaphors...)

Hope things go better. Enjoy your weekend! For some more excellent music in the French style, may I recommend the soundtrack to Something's Gotta Give.

Anonymous said...

AtP, I wish you luck. While I hesitate to label myself as an existentialist, I think Nietzsche put it best. Don't lose faith, though. God will help us conquer time and time again.

This one goes to you--the ex-youngest member of the Queerosphere! I bet I'm even younger than Stephanie! See ya, man.

Love,
Sully