Since By a Single Thread posted “Effing Plague,” I haven’t been able to get it out of my mind about how much pain homosexuality is causing.

My family for instance: my oldest brother was gay. That was, what I believe, my family’s first experience with an openly homosexual person. I found out when I was eight, but can remember instances where my brother talked about it when I was about 6. I told a few people when I was younger about my brother’s orientation at school, some overheard me and a few people relentlessly mocked me because I had gay brother. My parents had no idea what to do or handle the issue and I know it caused them incredible amounts of pain.

By a Single Thread wrote very honestly about what many of us go through. Tonight I’ve been wondering if there is a better way than just ignoring what we’re going through. There must be some fulfillment we can achieve in this life. There must be.

Moments are occurring more frequently in my life where I feel like I ‘m too far-gone, I can feel that this is wrong but those feelings are there nonetheless.

It’s past 5 am, and I can’t sleep, but I can’t think or write well…mostly because of the really long nap I took this evening. Anyway, so I’m going to publish this just so I can say I blogged…hopefully I’ll be more coherent later.