I had a ton of questions that were stemming from the meeting that I had two weeks ago with my bishop. I was so frustrated that our meetings only consisted of, "How're things?" "Good, concerning the circumstances," (the circumstances included being rejected from serving a full-time mission for the time being for worthiness issues after passing the ecclesiastical interviews and having my bishop announce that my mission papers were in) "Oh, that's great. You're a good guy, and concerning your most recent mishap you can submit your papers again in six months."
When he told me that I was furious, hurt, and confused... I had ALREADY given them six months, and they REJECTED ME. I didn't (still don't) trust him enough to believe him... it might even take a letter from the first presidency or my area presidency to believe that I can put in my papers again, because I don't want to open myself up to the hurt of being rejected again, in what seemed like such an open manner.
On Wednesday my mom went in to talk with the bishop (she's the RS president) and I asked her to take a copy of the interview between Elder Wickman, Elder Oaks, and the Public Relations Department of the church, and also a copy of IQD. I felt that my bishop needed to learn more about this subject so he could counsel others who may not have the support system that I do. My mom also mentioned that I needed to speak with him on Sunday.
After church was out, I ran home and had to grab some food to help regulate the blood sugar (stupid low blood sugar...makes fasting almost impossible) I walked back over to my church building, the bishop's office door was open--I was the first one up today. Walking in, he got up and shaked my hand as usual. I took my usual spot accross the desk from him, this was also the seat I used when I was a priest. I decided against using the normal greetings, I honestly don't think I've ever so forward with this particular bishop. I sat down and immediately asked him if I could start going to do baptisms again at the temple. He thought about it for a moment, moved himself in his chair, then said, "Yes." Thinking it being my lucky day I was tempted to ask him for a new car, but I thought it horribly inappropriate.
I moved onto my next question, "Why is it that the Stake President said I needed to keep my records in this ward?" I got an "I don't know, but I'll find out... he probably just doesn't want you to have to work with numerous bishops about this issue"
Satisfied with the answer I moved on to the next question I had, concerning the mission. I decided a few weeks ago that I wasn't going to put in my papers until I knew I was ready, until I knew I loved myself, until I was happy with myself, and until I made an extemely prayerful decision about the matter. I was so thrown off that he said six months during our last chat. I asked him elaborate on what the missionary department said, he went through the specifics of the letter. I still feel good about my decision to wait until I feel like I'm ready--and not letting anyone put in their two cents on when or why I should go.
My bishop, in a surprising turn of events actually started talking without me asking a question. He mentioned he's read most of the material I had my mom deliver to him, and that he is learning a lot. He kept on talking, he still has a lot to learn. Bishop asked if I was attracted to members of the opposite sex at all... I mentioned to him that it was very different. That I don't have a desire to be intimate with someone of the opposite sex, I wouldn't mind getting married either. But first I needed to get over the the fact that I get a little sick.
We finished the chat at our longest ever... 15 minutes.