I've been thinking about the move, again. It's going to be a huge change, and I'm very excited about it. The move is also giving me the opportunity to redefine parts of myself, change ways that I interact with people, et cetera. I've never really had an opportunity like this before, so it's all slightly overwhelming.
--I need to decide on whether or not I put up a straight guy front, this has worked at work for the most part, yet it's frustrating when people ask who I'm currently dating While at my bookstore today, someone commented on how great my smile was, my only thought was, "If you only knew how much I am hurting right now. This is completely fake." *Cue Dashboard Confessional song, Places You Have Come to Fear the Most*
--Yet another funny work story I should tell. I wore a v-neck undershirt today, and you could tell with my dress shirt. I guess it resembled a standard "celestial smile," you know, the really obvious garment line... So I had this elderly gentleman ask me where I served my mission, I told him I haven't. He kept looking at the faux-celestial smile and then at me, then at my neck line. He was so confused! He then continued to ask if I was married, or if I've received my mision call yet. Eventually he gave up and left with his book. I thought it was hilarious.
-- With regards to shaping who I want to be while after I leave Provo, I have this urge to not meet anyone, I don't want anymore friends. I don't want to be social, I want to go to work, school, then hide. I keep thinking it'd be nice to have a very, very small group of friends. Yet, I realize that could possibly, strike that...would be my downfall.
--I kept walking around today feeling like i was about to fall apart. I made it through obviously.
Hmmmm...I think I'm ready to go to bed now...