Thursday, March 08, 2007

As I’ve been reading the coming out stories by those in the in the queerosphere, I find myself getting angry by reading their stories. I’m angry at their whining because they apparently have understanding parents who cared about them and they knew it.

I on the other hand had my mother immediately burst into tears and run away, then after my mother talked to my father she then came and told me, “Your dad won’t be able to speak with you for a while.”

After I was rejected from serving a mission, I decided to move out and go to school. My parents would come home screaming, crying, and slamming doors. I was called insensitive, bratty, stuck up, my parents claimed I would just leave the church and prostitute myself for drugs on the street corner (I heard that one three times—scenarios my oldest brother found himself in) they said that my plans to stay close to the church was just a farce, a cover-up for my true feelings of leaving the Gospel that I love.

I remember sitting in the computer room typing out blogs during the summer, I felt my life was falling apart, and then my parents would come home and rip into me. This went on until I invited my parents to the evergreen conference. That was happening for four months. FOUR MONTHS at least once a week.

So sorry if I get angry reading your stories of coming out and only finding your parents not really educated on the how’s and why’s of same-sex attraction.


Mormon Enigma said...

Wow, I don't know what to say.

As a parent, I have a very difficult time comprehending how someone cannot love and support their children regardless of how they live their lives. And having children who are making decisions I don't agree with is something I have experience with. My oldest son is no longer active in the church and is living with his girlfriend. We have them over for dinner and to play games at least once a week and maintain a good relationship with both him and his girlfriend. We've been accused of 'enabling' his sinful ways. Call it what you will - I call it loving my children.

I hope your parents are able to come to terms with having a gay son. And, if not, you'll always have us in the MoHo queerosphere who love and support you.

Anonymous said...

Sorry about that, it must really stink. My parents are the kind that just don't understand, and sometimes it feels like they are digging into me, but nothing compared to what yours have done. The next time I get frustrated with my parents, I'll be sure to count my blessings.

Stephalumpagus said...

I haven't come out to parents yet. I'm not sure how they'll react.

Jk. I couldn't resist.

That is really sad about your parents' reaction though. Seriously, I'm sorry you had to go through that. And I think you are amazing for being so strong.

Beck said...

I know you don't need to hear from me on your blog, but I have to say that you are incredible and I, too, admire your commitment and your strength.

Thanks for your example.

SG said...

You've shown amazing courage through some very difficult trials. I am a parent of a couple of children who have chosen different paths than I would have liked. It isn't easy to watch them suffer the consequences of their choices. And those are CHOICES; those are different from your situation.

I want you to know that you are doing what the Lord expects you to do: endure to the end.

2 Nephi 31:20 20 Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life.

The New Kid said...

And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.
D&C 122:7

My experience was quite the opposite. My mom tried to convince me to live the gay lifestyle, and that I was wrong for thinking that it wouldn't bring me true happiness. I felt like I was in the twilight zone.
Going through those trials, just think how trivial other trials can seem now, and how you can bless others going through the same thing. You are truly an amazing son of God. Stay strong ATP!

agirlwho said...

I love what the New Kid says. While we can't control the circumstances in our lives, the difficulties we face, there is a purpose to them. We can never control how people will react, we can only control our responses and learn to act and not react. Having faith that the gospel is true eliminates a lot of "why me!" feelings. We might not know why things are harder for us, but we do know that we have the Lord to help us in our afflictions. I will keep praying for you. LOVE!

Gay BYU Student said...

After reading your coming out experience I realize that I really did get off easy - even though I don't really know how my parents will react over a period of time (it's only been 6 days). I think the distance helps a lot - thus the reason for coming out a couple months before I go home for the summer. Hopefully they'll be over the initial shock and have done some research by then.

My Mom did take things really well. But I had a little more difficult time with my Dad. With him it was, ummm... less than ideal.

My Best Is All I Have said...

That story makes me sad. I hope that they can eventually work through their issues. You're a good man, Charlie Brown.


drex said...

There are lots of factors that led to my parents being more understanding - liberal world views, they had a couple of hours or so to prep for a 'serious talk' as I had cornered them earlier on, they thought it was more serious than it was (so it was almost a relief), I had my girlfriend wrapped around me while I was talking to them, my mom had gay friends in college, my dad was a bishop and in a stake presidency and has likely dealt with it before...

All our interactions with our parents are as unique as our individual experiences with the trials we face. Some of us get off easy in the parent department and have to face major hardship from a completely different source. That said, I don't think I would be strong enough to deal with my parents showing their disappointment the way yours did. I admire your strength to still be here and in control of yourself having faced that day-in and day-out. I doubt I would have made it in one piece.

Kengo Biddles said...

AtP, let me swell the ranks of comments on this post, and let me just say, you're swell!

Okay, so I really didn't need to comment on this, but, hey, why not. More comments for you!